For the past several weeks we've considered what marriage is and is not. However, with the divorce rate hovering around 50%, not to mention the multitude of unhappy people who decide to stay together and "hang in there" for a variety of reasons including the kids and "God", What's the freakin point anyway? It continues to curiously interest me how so many people still want get married in spite of the high failure rate. Even homosexuals are fighting for the right to join together in "holy matrimony". What's so special to us about being married; why do we insist on it?
In an attempt to answer this question, it helps to understand that at its core, marriage is deeper than a piece of paper kept at the county clerks office. In fact, (brace yourselves) did you know that, considering the true spirit of what marriage is, you can be married without the paper? And on the flip side, you can have the paper but not have a real marriage? Oh yes boys and girls; it's true. For you see, in spirit, marriage is two souls (or in some cases at least two or more) committed to multilevel intimacy: which two people are at liberty to do with or without a certificate, ring, or church wedding. You don't need government, pastoral, or parental approval to do this. Straight or gay you can make this genuine commitment to another anywhere, anytime. You can do it whether you choose to live together or not; though most people choose to share a space. Now am I advocating shacking-up or gay marriage? No! I'm simply acknowledging what the spirit of marriage is and why we want it. This intimacy is what the soul craves. At our core we want to know and be known by at least one other special person at a deep level. As humans we are designed to want to share the important aspects of our lives with a significant other; and we want to do it emotionally, sexually, and financially. Show me a man that won't give his money to or spend his money on a woman, and I'll show you a man who's either broke or not in love with her.
So you see marriage, whether legal or unofficial, is something the vast majority of us want to experience at some point in our lives. However, when it comes to the issue of sex, many people don't understand what's the big deal about this "requirement" to be married, or abstain if you're not. In other words many people feel as though, in spite of not being ready to get married, they feel more than ready to enjoy sex. Their bodies are yearning, burning, and craving for something hard or wet (Oh come on now, those are not pornographic words, just facts; lighten up people). If I'm hot and horny and having wet dreams, isn't that nature and my body's way of telling me to go get some? After all, when my mouth is wet (watering) that's a sign to go get a sandwich, not deny myself of one; right? Why should sex, since that's what nature wired me for, be any different? Hmmmmm! That's a good question. It's easy for a married, holy, sanctified, water-baptized in the fire, "spirit" filled christian to tell you, "Don't do it!", but you're the one trying to substitute a cold shower and scripture reading with sexual healing. What's the problem with gettin some outside of marriage, Why does the Bible and religion discourage it?
There are three (3) basic, primary, and unofficial good reasons. I call them spirit-of-the-law reasons. It's part of what I like to call the "matrimonial insurance policy" or "mip" for short. Those three reasons are: a. To be an incubated safe haven to birth and raise children. b. Protection against sexually transmitted diseases. c. Protection against a broken heart, hurt feelings, and emotional injury due to unfulfilled romantic expectations. We will discuss the first of these three in my next post.
