How To Keep Your Man From Cheating

In order for a woman to keep her man from stepping out and cheating on her, it's important for her to understand how vital her support for her man really is. And a man needs to believe that at the end of the day, his woman is right there in his corner. Ladies, take a page from the world of sports. Ever hear of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders? What about The Chicago Luvabulls? These are two of many sports organizations that understand that one way to get men motivated enough to perform to maximum capability is to have a group of pretty, attractive females whooping and hollering, dancing and cheering, pumping fists in the air for the home team and yelling, “Go team go!”

Now your man may not be a quarterback for Dallas, or a point guard for Chicago, but maybe he's an office manager or a salesman, or a mailman, or a truck driver; perhaps an electrician or a painter, or maybe even a laid off worker in between jobs looking for work or going to school to improve his opportunities. What ever he's doing or trying to do, one of the things he's going to need to maximize his attempt is his woman's support of his efforts, work, and ideas.

There is a saying out there that goes something like this; “If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.” Many women are masters at putting a man down, making discouraging, condescending remarks, complaining, nagging, fussing, bitching and moaning. It's like she becomes this dark cloud over his head that's constantly drizzling. Many women will claim that this is nothing more than their attempt to motivate improvement in a man that she feels can do better. However ladies, I can assure you that most times this only serves to slowly push him away; usually into the arms of another woman who gives him the support he doesn't feel he's getting from you. You know, many times when men or women cheat, it's not necessarily because they're just looking to fool around for fun, but it's because they discover someone else out there that cares enough to give them some attention and support.

Please allow me at this time to dispel a myth: That in any one life time, there is only one true love or special person out there for any one man or woman; that there is only one soul mate for me or you. Paleeeeze!!! The truth: This planet is loaded with people who would be a good or even a perfect match for you or me. These people may even be of a different race than you; may be a few years younger or older. My point is that there are plenty of women out there that are not only available and willing to be with and support your man, but are also quite compatible with him. So if you aren't giving your man the support he wants and needs, don't be shocked and surprised if some else ends up in his “cheering” section.

How To Keep Your Man From Cheating

In order for a woman to keep her man from cheating, she needs to respect him; along with providing him with clean, healthy, and vibrant sexual stimulation. Now depending on what type of man you have, this may possibly be easier said than done. Many women, for a variety of reasons, find it challenging to respect the man that they are with. Maybe you caught him cheating. Or perhaps he's terrible with money. Or maybe he has a hard time holding down a job or finding work. Maybe he isn't as educated, or makes less money than you. Perhaps his credit score sucks, or his car only runs part of the time. The list could go on as to why a women finds it hard to give a man the respect he feels he is lacking and would like to have from you.

In my opinion you have two choices concerning your man: Either respect the man you're with, or dump him and get one you can respect; period; end of discussion. If your relationship with him is going to work you've got to give him respect, or he'll find (and for many men this isn't all that difficult, regardless of what you may think of him) another woman who treats him like he's Tom Cruise.

I've heard a number of women lament over situations in which when they finally saw the woman that their man was cheating with, that the other woman wasn't as attractive as she is. She'll say things like, “Why that heifer aint even as good looking as me, why the hell did he go for her?” Sometimes, ladies, it's not simply about how nice her boobs are or how long her hair is, but it's a matter of how she treats him; the fact that she makes him feel like a man, like a king, like the warrior he either really is or wishes he could be. We men are very simple creatures, unlike women who tend to be just a bit more complicated, who can find satisfaction in life with just a can of beer and a stroke of the ol' ego.

Some people say that respect has to be earned. And you know what; I couldn't agree more. However, there are situations where respect can be “granted” rather than earned. For example, you may grant respect to a man simply because he has a badge and is wearing a uniform, even though you know nothing about him. You can also grant respect based on a person's potential or your expectation of ones eventual future. If a person is doing well in law school, you may give him the respect of an attorney, even if he hasn't passed the bar yet. The point is if you have chosen to either be or stay with a man (even if he isn't exactly “perfect”) I can only assume that it may be because you see in him the potential to either be more or have more: Respect the potential. Women can have so much power and influence on a man that many times she can unconsciously “coach” him into improvement; but she can't and won't do it unless she gives him respect. If you give your man the respect that he wants and needs from you, not only will you have a man that won't cheat on you, but a man you can eventually be proud of in other areas as well.

How To Keep Your Man From Cheating

Welcome back, my people. At the time of this writing, I'm watching the “Tyra Banks Show” with “Ludacris” as a guest on the show. A female in the audience asked him the question, “How can you tell if a man is cheating on you?”, to which Luda responded by saying, “I can't answer that question due to the guy code; I must respect the code; right fellas?” Men in the audience agreed with him.
Ladies, I don't have a “guy code” I respect. You are my sisters and I want the best for you, and I want to help you as much as I can. That's why I tell you the truth (as I see it) and keep it real.

With that said, I need to piggy back on the last conversation about the nature of why people cheat. Some people may think that I'm simply making excuses or trying to give the green light to people who just want to have fun fooling around. I am not attempting to make excuses; however, I am attempting to explain a little bit about natural animal instincts. As human beings, we are blessed with minds that can reason, think, and create; unlike other mammals. Due to this human benefit, we don't have to submit to animalistic behavior. People do not have to cheat; men or women. And in spite of statistics, not all men cheat! They may fantasize occasionally, but many men are conservatively faithful. However, depending on your upbringing, social, religious, and parental influence, as well as individual personalities, we all have various degrees of moral levels. And as humans with the capacity to love and receive love, at our core being, we have no desire to hurt one another. However, when our ability to have certain basic needs met are challenged (a wife withholding sex from her husband for weeks because she's always too tired, or going without food for two weeks, for example), we may turn to animalistic behavior, or act on “instincts” to help meet the need. The stronger your moral “programming”, the less likely you are to revert to acting on instinct. Sex is a basic, natural human need, and so is “change”. We need to keep these things in mind when we are in monogamous relationships. Your attitude towards and treatment of your man can very well help determine, along with other factors, how likely he is to use his mind to be faithful, or his “flesh” (aka instinct) to be a cheat.

Next I'll get into the other ways to keep your man from cheating on you; so stayed tuned.

How To Keep Your Man From Cheating

Well, I've been away for about a week now (had to do some electrical work for a friend). So I am back with my continuing perspective on how to help keep your man from cheating. After dealing with the sexual stimulation portion of this discussion, it is now time for me to move on to the other factors I believe to be important in order to keep your man happily in your bed. However, before I continue with this very vital and timely discussion, I feel it is necessary at this point to say something about human nature and why marriage, as we traditionally practice it, under the best of circumstances, is such a challenge in the first place.

Over 50% of marriages (church folks included) end in divorce. And out of the couples who manage to stay together, half of them ain't happy. Many of them stay in a “dead” marriage because either they feel they can't afford to split up, or perhaps they have sooooo much money until they're afraid to loose much of it during a nasty divorce; or perhaps they're hanging in there for the kid's sake. Still, others of the more religious persuasion are told that God “hates” divorce. And since you don't want to piss him off, you just put up with a lifeless relationship for God's sake (this is crazy and unnecessary by the way; in reality God doesn't “really” force you to do anything; much less stay with someone you don't want). So what's up with the big universal nuptial challenge?

What I'm about to say is not meant to discourage marriage, it's only an attempt to explain why it's such a great challenge for so many couples. This comes on the heels of having just seen Tyler Perry's new movie “Why Did I Get Married Too”. By nature, we are creatures of variety. If you walk outside your front door and take a real good, careful, long, and sober-minded look at God's creation, it becomes all to evident that God is a God of major variety. In fact, change and variety can easily be said to be synonymous with life itself (and life, in case you weren't aware of it, is God). Not even one snow flake is exactly like another in, spite of the multiple trillions that fall. Just look at your appetite for food for a minute (oh, and uhm by the way; the appetite for food is very similar to the appetite for sex): Do you love fried chicken? I know I do. But what if you had to eat it every single day for the rest of your life? No fish! No pork chops! No shrimp! No steak! No french fries! No salad! No ham and eggs! No ice cream and cake! NOTHING BUT FRIED CHICKEN FOREVER! Would that start to get old after awhile? In a sense, that's what monogamous marriage is the way we practice it; nothing but fried chicken. Men produce millions and millions of sperm throughout their lives (woman, in contrast, run out of eggs somewhere around 50 years old; they call it menopause). Do you really think nature intended for all of that seed to be “wasted” on just one woman? Nature has programmed into the DNA of men to desire a variety female for the purpose of putting that seed to good use; there by ensuring the perpetuation of the human species. That's right folks, it's not a “sin” for a man to, at the very least, sneak a peak at another woman; it's sort of in his blood. And although I'm not a woman, I know that even though most woman are happy with one good man, many of them fantasize from time to time about what it would be like to be with some hunk like Denzel or Mr. Travolta (aw go on; admit it, I won't tell your husband). You see, my friends, I believe that long-term monogamy challenges what nature designed us to be; creatures of variety and change.

As we get older, we change; our ideas change, our values change, our outlooks on life change, our political, social, and religious perspectives may change. You may join a church after years of none-attendance, or leave after years of faithful participation. You may suddenly become a democrat after years of voting republican, or vice-versa. You may change careers, or want to change cities. You may decide one day that you want a dog or cat. Although ideally, if and when these changes occur, you would like your spouse to harmoniously change with you, or at the very least easily accept your change, the reality is that they often do not. And that's OK. If you grow apart, God does not require you to stay together.

Now I can hear a lot of people getting angry with me for the above observations; accusing me of trying to excuse immoral behavior. However, think about it; they say ones biggest financial investment is ones home. Normally when we buy one, we take out a 30 year mortgage. Yet, on average, statistics show that every 5 to 7 years into the mortgage, people either sale or refinance. Many times they are refinancing to fix-up, add-on, or redecorate the home. Why? Because even with a house, after six years or so people want a change; something different. Why do we expect that to somehow change with a spouse? All throughout the rest of our lives we look for variety and change, but when we get married, all of a sudden we expect to be perpetually excited about sameness. Why has drugs like Viagra become so popular? One main reason is it's an attempt to bypass a man's “natural” excitement for sex (which is why he normally gets hard) as a way of achieving an erection by using artificial chemicals. Why isn't he excited on his own? I bet he wouldn't need Viagra for that 22 year old cheerleader; or even his own wife of 15 years if he suddenly splits up with her, separates for a while, and notices that other men show some “appreciation” for what she brings to the table.

These comments are not designed to sour your taste towards marriage. However, if we want our matrimonial relationships to experience good success we need to understand what we are up against here so we can be prepared. This is one reason why a man needs his wife to provide clean, healthy, and vibrant sexual stimulation. It's challenging enough to maintain long-term excitement for an attractive wife. But for a woman that allows herself go down hill physically? It can be a great challenge. For her to have a chance, she should work to maintain both an attractive physique and personality; not to be a whiny, sour, bitchy, nerve-wrecking annoyance (the same could be said about men; women cheat too).