How To Keep Your Man From Cheating

Well, I've been away for about a week now (had to do some electrical work for a friend). So I am back with my continuing perspective on how to help keep your man from cheating. After dealing with the sexual stimulation portion of this discussion, it is now time for me to move on to the other factors I believe to be important in order to keep your man happily in your bed. However, before I continue with this very vital and timely discussion, I feel it is necessary at this point to say something about human nature and why marriage, as we traditionally practice it, under the best of circumstances, is such a challenge in the first place.

Over 50% of marriages (church folks included) end in divorce. And out of the couples who manage to stay together, half of them ain't happy. Many of them stay in a “dead” marriage because either they feel they can't afford to split up, or perhaps they have sooooo much money until they're afraid to loose much of it during a nasty divorce; or perhaps they're hanging in there for the kid's sake. Still, others of the more religious persuasion are told that God “hates” divorce. And since you don't want to piss him off, you just put up with a lifeless relationship for God's sake (this is crazy and unnecessary by the way; in reality God doesn't “really” force you to do anything; much less stay with someone you don't want). So what's up with the big universal nuptial challenge?

What I'm about to say is not meant to discourage marriage, it's only an attempt to explain why it's such a great challenge for so many couples. This comes on the heels of having just seen Tyler Perry's new movie “Why Did I Get Married Too”. By nature, we are creatures of variety. If you walk outside your front door and take a real good, careful, long, and sober-minded look at God's creation, it becomes all to evident that God is a God of major variety. In fact, change and variety can easily be said to be synonymous with life itself (and life, in case you weren't aware of it, is God). Not even one snow flake is exactly like another in, spite of the multiple trillions that fall. Just look at your appetite for food for a minute (oh, and uhm by the way; the appetite for food is very similar to the appetite for sex): Do you love fried chicken? I know I do. But what if you had to eat it every single day for the rest of your life? No fish! No pork chops! No shrimp! No steak! No french fries! No salad! No ham and eggs! No ice cream and cake! NOTHING BUT FRIED CHICKEN FOREVER! Would that start to get old after awhile? In a sense, that's what monogamous marriage is the way we practice it; nothing but fried chicken. Men produce millions and millions of sperm throughout their lives (woman, in contrast, run out of eggs somewhere around 50 years old; they call it menopause). Do you really think nature intended for all of that seed to be “wasted” on just one woman? Nature has programmed into the DNA of men to desire a variety female for the purpose of putting that seed to good use; there by ensuring the perpetuation of the human species. That's right folks, it's not a “sin” for a man to, at the very least, sneak a peak at another woman; it's sort of in his blood. And although I'm not a woman, I know that even though most woman are happy with one good man, many of them fantasize from time to time about what it would be like to be with some hunk like Denzel or Mr. Travolta (aw go on; admit it, I won't tell your husband). You see, my friends, I believe that long-term monogamy challenges what nature designed us to be; creatures of variety and change.

As we get older, we change; our ideas change, our values change, our outlooks on life change, our political, social, and religious perspectives may change. You may join a church after years of none-attendance, or leave after years of faithful participation. You may suddenly become a democrat after years of voting republican, or vice-versa. You may change careers, or want to change cities. You may decide one day that you want a dog or cat. Although ideally, if and when these changes occur, you would like your spouse to harmoniously change with you, or at the very least easily accept your change, the reality is that they often do not. And that's OK. If you grow apart, God does not require you to stay together.

Now I can hear a lot of people getting angry with me for the above observations; accusing me of trying to excuse immoral behavior. However, think about it; they say ones biggest financial investment is ones home. Normally when we buy one, we take out a 30 year mortgage. Yet, on average, statistics show that every 5 to 7 years into the mortgage, people either sale or refinance. Many times they are refinancing to fix-up, add-on, or redecorate the home. Why? Because even with a house, after six years or so people want a change; something different. Why do we expect that to somehow change with a spouse? All throughout the rest of our lives we look for variety and change, but when we get married, all of a sudden we expect to be perpetually excited about sameness. Why has drugs like Viagra become so popular? One main reason is it's an attempt to bypass a man's “natural” excitement for sex (which is why he normally gets hard) as a way of achieving an erection by using artificial chemicals. Why isn't he excited on his own? I bet he wouldn't need Viagra for that 22 year old cheerleader; or even his own wife of 15 years if he suddenly splits up with her, separates for a while, and notices that other men show some “appreciation” for what she brings to the table.

These comments are not designed to sour your taste towards marriage. However, if we want our matrimonial relationships to experience good success we need to understand what we are up against here so we can be prepared. This is one reason why a man needs his wife to provide clean, healthy, and vibrant sexual stimulation. It's challenging enough to maintain long-term excitement for an attractive wife. But for a woman that allows herself go down hill physically? It can be a great challenge. For her to have a chance, she should work to maintain both an attractive physique and personality; not to be a whiny, sour, bitchy, nerve-wrecking annoyance (the same could be said about men; women cheat too).