Continuing from part 4 of this discussion of why do men cheat, a woman's sexual stimulation aught to be vibrant. Now, to me, this means 2 things. Number one, it means that the man actually is stimulated, meaning that he does, at the very least, get some from you. For some reason, that we won't get into right here, some women seem to have a take-it or leave-it attitude towards sex with their man; mostly leave it. They come up with all types of excuses why they just can't do it tonight (headache, backache, stomachache, too tired, the baby's crying, toenail hurts; you get the point). But then these same women have the audacity to be upset, shocked, and disturbed when the man actually gets with another woman, or at the very least, looks at porn.
Then there is the “saint” who only wants to do one position because the others are “unholy and wrong before God”; or she doesn't want to feel like a dirty slut. This woman is just too conservative for that type of “degrading” activity. You see, such shenanigans are beneath her. After all, she's a “missionary baptist girl”; born and raised, and by-golly, in the name of Jesus, that's what she's gonna stay.
Then, number 2, if you're going to help keep your man from cheating on you, it is also important to provide what I call flavorable stimulation. There are many women (wives, girlfriends, shack up honeys) who, although they do offer themselves sexually, don't present themselves flavorably. In other words, there's no excitement or enthusiasm; no real passion attached to the presentation. In the bedroom, this woman is like a boiled piece of chicken with no season salt, peppers, onions, sauce; nothing. Just plain, tasteless, bland meat. Nothing for a man to really get excited about. This woman probably comes to bed with hair rollers, big bloomer panties, crusty lips, ashy feet; smelling like collard greens. Woooowww....wouldn't you want to lay with this beach babe (your wife). Even if you never have a real orgasm; can't you provide some special affects and fake it sometimes? (Ok, I'm just kidding a bit here).
Allow me, as a man, to give you some of my ideas of vibrant sexual stimulation that might help keep him more interested in you and less interested in others:
A. Actually have sex with him. Go on; tonight, surprise him by actually saying “yes”. I bet it won't bring about the end of the world.
B. I know God won't have a problem with you trying new things in the bedroom. Trust me on this. Now although I don't recommend doing anything that's going to be physically painful or injuring, other things are just simply a matter of opinion or personal taste (pun sort of intended). God's not going to stop blessing you or send you to hell because you use toys or do it “doggy style”. Perhaps your pastor might “trip”, but God won't (which of the two is more important to you).
C. I know you probably don't want to mess up that great hair do while sleeping, but at least let him see it during sex; don't put the scarf on so soon. And if you wore a wig or hair piece all day, don't be so quick to snatch it off in front of him.
D.Try putting on some lipstick and perfume at bedtime (and some lotion wouldn't hurt either). If it's good enough for the boss and the men at the office all day, shouldn't it be good enough for your man at night? Don't get me wrong; collard greens ain't bad when I'm hungry, but I'd prefer some Victoria Secrets on my “freak” at night.
E. Speaking of Victoria Secrets, bloomer panties may be fine for your menstrual period, but what's wrong with some red thongs with a matching sexy bra any other time of the month? Nothing!!! Or some purple fish net knee highs with matching high heels (it's getting hot in here; I'd better open a window)! And sometimes, actually leave the girdle on underneath the sexy-short yellow night gown to show off those great legs but not-so-great mid section. This way, you appear to sometimes be a “slimmer” woman to your man (sometimes' it's not about what you really are, but what you appear to look like; play tricks with his eyes from time to time).
Now I know what some women may say; “Well, If he really loves me, it shouldn't matter to him what I look or act like; love should make him live and deal with it!” Tina Turner sang a song, What's love Gotta Do With It; which is to say that just because a man cheats on you doesn't mean he doesn't love you; love's got nothing to do with it! Now I know I may get some disagreements with this, but just because I eat at Wendy's doesn't mean that I don't love a good home cooked meal. However, if the meal at home either isn't available or doesn't taste right, I might just go to Wendy's. Get the point? You don't have to agree with it; I'm just trying to help some ladies keep their men from cheating.
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