How To Keep Your Man From Cheating part 4

Continuing from part 4 of this discussion of why do men cheat, a woman's sexual stimulation aught to be vibrant. Now, to me, this means 2 things. Number one, it means that the man actually is stimulated, meaning that he does, at the very least, get some from you. For some reason, that we won't get into right here, some women seem to have a take-it or leave-it attitude towards sex with their man; mostly leave it. They come up with all types of excuses why they just can't do it tonight (headache, backache, stomachache, too tired, the baby's crying, toenail hurts; you get the point). But then these same women have the audacity to be upset, shocked, and disturbed when the man actually gets with another woman, or at the very least, looks at porn.

Then there is the “saint” who only wants to do one position because the others are “unholy and wrong before God”; or she doesn't want to feel like a dirty slut. This woman is just too conservative for that type of “degrading” activity. You see, such shenanigans are beneath her. After all, she's a “missionary baptist girl”; born and raised, and by-golly, in the name of Jesus, that's what she's gonna stay.

Then, number 2, if you're going to help keep your man from cheating on you, it is also important to provide what I call flavorable stimulation. There are many women (wives, girlfriends, shack up honeys) who, although they do offer themselves sexually, don't present themselves flavorably. In other words, there's no excitement or enthusiasm; no real passion attached to the presentation. In the bedroom, this woman is like a boiled piece of chicken with no season salt, peppers, onions, sauce; nothing. Just plain, tasteless, bland meat. Nothing for a man to really get excited about. This woman probably comes to bed with hair rollers, big bloomer panties, crusty lips, ashy feet; smelling like collard greens. Woooowww....wouldn't you want to lay with this beach babe (your wife). Even if you never have a real orgasm; can't you provide some special affects and fake it sometimes? (Ok, I'm just kidding a bit here).

Allow me, as a man, to give you some of my ideas of vibrant sexual stimulation that might help keep him more interested in you and less interested in others:

A. Actually have sex with him. Go on; tonight, surprise him by actually saying “yes”. I bet it won't bring about the end of the world.

B. I know God won't have a problem with you trying new things in the bedroom. Trust me on this. Now although I don't recommend doing anything that's going to be physically painful or injuring, other things are just simply a matter of opinion or personal taste (pun sort of intended). God's not going to stop blessing you or send you to hell because you use toys or do it “doggy style”. Perhaps your pastor might “trip”, but God won't (which of the two is more important to you).

C. I know you probably don't want to mess up that great hair do while sleeping, but at least let him see it during sex; don't put the scarf on so soon. And if you wore a wig or hair piece all day, don't be so quick to snatch it off in front of him.

D.Try putting on some lipstick and perfume at bedtime (and some lotion wouldn't hurt either). If it's good enough for the boss and the men at the office all day, shouldn't it be good enough for your man at night? Don't get me wrong; collard greens ain't bad when I'm hungry, but I'd prefer some Victoria Secrets on my “freak” at night.

E. Speaking of Victoria Secrets, bloomer panties may be fine for your menstrual period, but what's wrong with some red thongs with a matching sexy bra any other time of the month? Nothing!!! Or some purple fish net knee highs with matching high heels (it's getting hot in here; I'd better open a window)! And sometimes, actually leave the girdle on underneath the sexy-short yellow night gown to show off those great legs but not-so-great mid section. This way, you appear to sometimes be a “slimmer” woman to your man (sometimes' it's not about what you really are, but what you appear to look like; play tricks with his eyes from time to time).

Now I know what some women may say; “Well, If he really loves me, it shouldn't matter to him what I look or act like; love should make him live and deal with it!” Tina Turner sang a song, What's love Gotta Do With It; which is to say that just because a man cheats on you doesn't mean he doesn't love you; love's got nothing to do with it! Now I know I may get some disagreements with this, but just because I eat at Wendy's doesn't mean that I don't love a good home cooked meal. However, if the meal at home either isn't available or doesn't taste right, I might just go to Wendy's. Get the point? You don't have to agree with it; I'm just trying to help some ladies keep their men from cheating.

How To Help Keep Your Man From Cheating part 3

Continuing from part 2 of this topic, it is important for a wife (and the others), if she expects to keep her husband interested in her sexually, to provide "healthy" sexual stimulation. I believe that this often, unfortunately, gets ignored and overlooked. We've already discussed the importance of being clean on the outside. But what about "inner" cleanliness? What about clean lungs, a clean stomach, perhaps a clean colon? Did you know that a thin layer of flesh separates the lower colon from the vagina? There are times when if this area of the colon is full of "crap" (literally), sex, for the woman, can be a bit uncomfortable. Not to mention that when bowel sits in the colon it has a tendency to create "gases"; this too can create some unpleasant experiences during love making sessions. Try adding more fiber to your diet in the form of more fruits and vegetables, some whole-grain cereal, and perhaps a laxative at least once a month to help clean out all of the junk we average Americans tend to consume on a regular basis (I've found that about 12 dried plums,or "prunes", accomplishes the same thing).

And, at the risk of sounding socially redundant, proper diet and exercise, or lack of, is a major contributor to how you both look and feel. Although this is not exactly a new concept, when you look at all of the overweight and out of shape wives out there, one has to wonder whether or not this is the first time we're hearing this. I mean it's like the minute women graduate high school, have a baby, or get married, ALL exercise appears to come to a halt. One of the things I miss most about high school is that everyday, for four years, I was literally surrounded by great looking females with nice bodies. Now someone may say in defense, "Well, that's because they're teenagers; so what do you expect". Just because you're over 25 and married with a child or more does not mean that physical attractiveness has to end, or at the very least, take a mild or significant dive. If you have the mindset to make a good balanced diet and exercise as regular a part of your life as watching the nightly news or Desperate Housewives, I promise you'll look and feel better;
almost like in those high school days.

When you can look in the mirror and like what you see, and you feel good mentally and physically, not only will you be more appealing eye candy to your husband, but you bring a certain type of attitude and confidence to the bedroom that is alluring, appealing, and attractive. Many women tend to not be in a mood for sex simply because they don't "feel" attractive, even if their man is trying to reassure them that they are. My wife, Yolanda, is 42 years young; and people say to her, "gee, you're so young and good looking for your age". What? You're suppose to look good and attractive at 42. If you don't, then you didn't properly maintain yourself.

One final thought on the health portion of this discussion: Diet, exercise, and attitude has a lot to do with whether or not we not only contract many types of diseases (like cancer for example), but also how fast we heal from these diseases, or if we ever heal from them at all. With that said, there are relationships that have suffered sexually, due to one of the partners, particularly the woman, having some sort of sickness. At the risk of sounding insensitive, disease and sickness isn't sexy. Try and tell me that after chemo treatment, and a loss of hair, that your wife is still considered "hot" enough for you to want to rip her clothes off and "split her apart", so to speak. In general, I don't think so! Now Please don't miss understand me: I'm not saying a man no longer has feelings of love and commitment towards his sick bride, I'm just saying that from a sexual standpoint, there is a certain member of a man's anatomy that doesn't exactly stand stiffly to attention for a woman that's been vomiting due to radioactive invasive treatment. All I'm trying to say is that it is vitally important for a woman to be healthy in order to help maintain a man's sexual appetite for her.

At this point, there is something that I feel I need to explain about the sexual nature of us men to sort of help put this conversation in perspective. Keep in mind, my dear friends, that I'm not claiming these perspectives to be "the truth come from God". They are simply my opinions based on a lot of thought, study, and "open minded" observation. I invite you to share your thoughts and opinions on this matter. Any way, I will share man's sexual nature with you next time before getting into the "vibrant" part of a woman's sexual stimulation for her man.

How To Keep Your Man From Cheating, Part 2

Hello everyone!! Once again Dr. Mike's here with some of my thoughts, feelings, and perspectives on some of the things I feel are relative and important to today's society. Let me remind you that I don't claim to have "the" answer from God concerning this monologue. Among us "saved" folks, you will here quite often the phrase, "The Lord spoke to me and said....."!!! Most times the Lord ain't said nothing; but that doesn't stop us from making the claim. I'm telling you up front that what I'm saying comes from years of experience, careful observation, a bit of my opinion, and a dash or pinch of inspiration. With that said let's get into the meat, a bit, as to why men cheat, and how to keep your man from cheating.

I told you before that there are three (3) things I believe wives, girlfriends, and move-in-honeys need to do to help ensure that their men will not cheat or seek the "services" of other females. It is my intention to share one of the three with you today. I think, however, at this point, it is important, for the sake of some of my more "conservative" friends, to understand why I also address the "girlfriends" and "move-in-honeys (aka "shack up); as if their relationships aren't as "divinely" legit. In the true spirit of the matter, when the rubber meets the road; whether the romantic union has been legalized by the state and blessed by the church or not; even if they haven't moved in together yet, women expect the men they're with to be faithful and monogamous to them. And if they're not, there can be some serious emotional, financial, and physical repercussions ( as crazy as it sounds, even "mistresses" expect faithfulness from cheating husbands; now think about that one for a minute).

For number one, I shall start with the most obvious: Clean, healthy, and vibrant sexual stimulation! Notice I didn't just say "give him some" (Remember, this is coming from a dude who's been married for nearly 20 years). Allow me to break it on down for you. First, the sex needs to be clean. Now when I say "clean", I'm not talking about the avoidance of certain types of sexual activities such as anal, oral, and stuff like that. That's between you and your lover to decide. As long as the two of you are in agreement and it's safe, comfortable and pleasurable, it's all good. I'm speaking of personal hygiene my friends.

Ladies, please understand; I can not over emphasize enough your need, due to your unique anatomies, to stay on top of good overall physical hygiene including oral, the "private parts" (back and front), and hair! One would think, "Duh, isn't that obvious?" Well, according to my experience, apparently not. Sometimes, due to being busy, tired, overworked, in a hurry, etc; women can, and do, neglect themselves. As a result, they may not be as fresh as they can be. However, some of these same woman will expect their men to "perform" as if they are the national model for Victoria Secrets, Bare Necessities, Avon, or Scope. I've heard people make the statement, "Well, if we really love each other, it shouldn't matter!" Oh, my God, who done told you wrong? (please excuse my grammar here). As if love should withstand morning breath, foot odor, bad hair, and other unpleasants I won't mention right here. Well, maybe true love will withstand these "situations", but not a good sex life! In case you hadn't heard, you can love someone and not be excited about french kissing them. All I'm trying to say, without being to redundant, is to be very mindful of your hygiene throughout the day, especially when you're with your man.

Here are a few pointers on what you can do to at least appear to be "fresh" for him:

1. Keep some sugarless breath spray (sugar causes tooth decay and eventually makes the odor worse) next to your side of the bed so you can give yourself a quick shot or two, just in case you haven't had a chance to go properly brush and gargle, but he's just got to have you "right now"!

2. Forget the expensive perfumes and powders; nothing is more powerful on foot odor than trusty ole baking soda. Just sprinkle a bit between the toes. Neither you, he, or anyone else will ever smell a thing.

3. Speaking of baking soda, brushing your teeth and tongue with baking soda or a very good baking soda based toothpaste (Arm & Hammer is perhaps the best) with a hydrogen peroxide damp toothbrush, along with flossing and a good mouthwash, after every meal; or at least every morning and before bed time, will usually help keep the mouth "french-kissing ready".

4. Am I one of the few people that realizes that toilet paper doesn't exactly "clean" you down there; hmm? I mean, c'mon, you might as well wash your dishes with a dry rag (try eating off of that plate during your next meal). Most people use toilet paper during those number "one" and "two" moments in the washroom, but will wait until their daily bath or shower (dear God let it be at least "daily") for soap and water. However, what if he's in the mood for love after the washroom break, but before the next scheduled bath or shower? What will you do? Just give him some anyway? Or maybe you're the horny one; do you insist on doing "it" before a good soaking? Do us a favor: Don't do it!!! Spontaneity certainly has its place, but, trust me, very bad experiences can occur between the sheets with this care-free attitude towards cleanliness. Hey, do you want spontaneity? Suddenly snatch him into the shower and try some wet foreplay.

5. And finally, ladies, I know that keeping your hair perpetually "beauty-salon correct" can be a challenge ( I do have a wife and two daughters). Therefore, if you're just going to slap a wig or a hair piece on it, at least make sure that the hair and scalp underneath is regularly washed and combed. After a few days of neglect, hair and scalp tends to develop an odor as well as dandruff. And it can be a turn off when you get home from work, or the mall, snatch off your wig, climb into bed to snuggle up with your man, and there's the odor of neglected hair (dandruff just isn't sexy).

Next, I'm going to discuss the "healthy" portion of number one of the three ways to keep your man from cheating; so stay tuned.