Happy Friday(TGIF)to everyone today. I'm going to try to get through this in spite of a some-what painful left hand. Last time we considered the 2nd P of our discussion which was "patience". This time we'll continue on with the 3rd which is "persistence". I don't know how many of you parents feel the way I'm about to describe, but have you ever felt tired or exhausted from having to say the same freakin thing over, and over..........and over again; huh? Every d**mn day it's either the dishes, or their room, or their clothes, or their homework, or the garbage, or_______________; just fill in the blank. At first, you may think that this young person may have "down syndrome" that the doctors some how missed. Or that they may just simply be, I don't know, stupid or something. Why in the world does this person need to be told the same thing over and over again? Doesn't this child understand that I need their help, and that I'm not just assigning chores for my amusement?

Now, some parents claim to have an answer to this problem; "Well, I just beats they ass!", or, "I'd whoop the hell outa em!". Or maybe some of you more sophisticated, modern parents may say, "Perhaps a time out is in order.", or even, "I'll suspend a desired privilege." Now don't get me wrong; I'm not saying that these methods wouldn't provide some cooperative motivation on the part of your kid; scaring people into cooperation does work. But I do need to tell you that using scare tactics is not operating in love; at least not perfect love. Oh, you disagree; "It worked for my momma and grand momma, and It works for me, and you can't tell me I don't love my kids", you say. Well I can almost assure you that even though you may "beat the hell out of them" with good intentions, they aren't feeling the "love" at the time of the "disciplinary assault". All you are doing is planting seeds of wrath and resentment in them, which leads to division, alienation, and a break down in communication in the latter teen years. Just because a shovel works doesn't mean I won't take my money and go get a snow blower.

Listen; these are your kids; that means they instinctively love you and, thus, really mean you, as their parents, no harm. At times, when they appear to disobey, not hear you, not do what you tell them to do, etc..... it's not because they are deliberately trying to defy you; they simply need your loving, attentive persistence to perpetually push them along towards maturity. Let me explain something about us as we enter this world as new babies: WE COME HERE SELFISH!!! Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing; as babies. You see, babies can't talk, can't walk, can't dress, feed, clean, or buy for themselves. That's why they cry, scream and holla, with no regards to whether or not it's an inconvenience to you. The selfishness is a survival mechanism designed to protect them from starvation, sickness, serious diaper rash, and conditions such as freezing or heat strokes. As these babies continue to grow into toddlers, children, and even adolescents, however, the survival mechanism of selfishness tends to linger on in them, even though they no longer need it as much. Therefore, they naturally try to avoid anything that's not "fun", enjoyable, or comfortable; even though it may be needed to help you in and around the house; or to achieve good grades in school.
For this, they need your persistent help. This is a mechanism that has to be worked out of them over time. And furthermore, this needs to start as soon as they are old enough to put together sentences and safely walk up and down the stairs on their own. Once started, you, as the parent, should persistently work with them throughout their childhood; with the dishes, with the laundry, with cleaning their rooms, cutting grass, taking out the trash, ironing, cooking, etc. And there shouldn't be a certain household chore or job for girls or boys only. Teach both to do it ALL. This is why you need to always be "present" and "patient", so that your "persistence" becomes much more effective.

If you will commit yourself to being lovingly persistent in your parenting supervision, you'll find that eventually, as they get older, consistency in your present and patient persistence will create gradual "programming" which will cause them, at some point, to assist you on auto pilot. "But", you say, "That sounds like a lot of work!", and your right; it IS a lot of work: that's what you signed up for honey. This is why you need the last and final P, which is "power"; which we'll discuss next time.