Greetings to everyone who has tuned in at this time, I hope that you are doing quite well. After the pain associated with having a very sick appendix and having it removed a couple of weeks ago, I'm feeling better. Well, last time we left off by stating that what marriage "really" is is spiritual, emotional, physical, and financial intimacy. I would like to combine spiritual and emotional intimacy as one because, I believe, emotion is the language of the soul. Think of emotion as "E"nergy in motion", which is sort of what spirit is.
Yes boys and girls, Multilevel Intimacy is what marriage is. Without MLI (Multilevel Intimacy) the symbols and legalities mean nothing. Did you know that you can have MLI without the symbols and legalities? Yeah, you really can; there are high school girlfriends and boyfriends with better MLI than many grown married folks. This starts with emotional intimacy which is the deepest level of MLI. Have you noticed that many times when a relationship is fresh and new, that two people can spend hours talking, whether on the phone or in person; they can talk all night long until the sun comes up, without appearing exhausted. This is because of the emotional energy they feed one another during these initial stages. This is when souls come together and began to engage one another; when minds began to "hug and kiss". Sometimes it's so intense that their thoughts seem to be your thoughts, and your thoughts are theirs; almost like esp. When you're away from them you think about them and can't wait to see them; and when you're together you hate to leave or see them go. This is the connectivity of two spirits intertwined. This is very deep. Virtually no sacrifice is to great for them. If they needed a kidney, you'd give one of yours. Their mood may affect your appetite. This is the reason why emotional affairs outside of the marriage is so serious. A man can have sex with a woman without even knowing her first name; simply because he likes the size of her boobs, and not call her for the next two weeks after wards while enjoying #1 specials at Burger King. But loose his appetite over a woman he hasn't even touched yet just based on an emotionally deep connection that's been lost.
Why is this so deep? Why is this the most important of what I will call the "big 3" of the MLI? Because it transcends the physical realm; it's spiritual. It's an intimacy of invisible vibrational proportions. It is the "spirit" that inhabits and gives life to a relationship much like the spirit inhabits a human body and gives it life. How does a couple maintain this extremely important part of the MLI?
One thing they need to try to do is start their relationship with as many things in common as possible including religion, politics, and hobbies. When couples have too many interests that naturally separates them from each other like different TV shows that may have them watching different TVs in different rooms of the house, a gap in emotional connectivity may start to develop and evolve over time. They may even go to movie theaters or plays separately because they have broadly different tastes in entertainment. Emotional intimacy is likely maintained the more time spent together enjoying similar interests. Another very important factor, speaking of time spent together, is work and career schedules. For the exception of maybe a handful of couples, long distant and separate relationships are, at the very least, challenging. If you have schedules, jobs, or routines that don't allow for regular and significant time spent together, there is the danger, or tendency (however you see it) for ones soul to fill in the gap with someone else; be it a co-worker, another church member, next door neighbor, or anyone else more available for you than your spouse. Many times this is not deliberate, it just happens. Couples should go on trips and vacations together. Although I do support and think it healthy for everyone to have some "me time", it shouldn't be that every time you have to go out of town, the wife or husband is left behind.
There are some rather smaller issues as well regarding this spiritual/emotional factor. For example: is your man funny, or at least tries to be? Perhaps when you first hooked up a number of years ago his jokes were funny enough to you that you fell over laughing; remember that? When was the last time you laughed at one? What; he's not funny anymore? Maybe time and life has robbed you of your sense of humor? Laughing at each others jokes and humorous stories, sharing interesting stories about ones day at work, the mall, or church, discussing a movie, TV show, political views, the news of the day, etc., are ways that couples emotioanlly engage and connect to one another. Eating dinner together at home, or showing up for a lunch date at her job. Buying yellow and red roses for her just because it's Tuesday, or fixing his favorite dish because he mowed the lawn; these are all simple ways to make love to each other emotionally. Now if you're going to do these things it should genuinely come from the heart; nothing phony. Do you really love him or her? Then these ideas should'nt be to big of a deal.
Let me let the guys in on a little secret: For most women, physical sex in the bedroom, or shower, or laundryroom, or kitchen, or elevator or.........(let me stop; some of you more conservative folks are getting uncomfortable) where ever, starts in the mind or emotions outside of the bedroom. If you get a woman hot early with some emotional stroking before you get her to the bedroom, then it may not (I said "may not") take her as long to "bust one" in the bed room, if yaw catch my drift here; you understand! This brings us to the second of the big three which is Physical Intimacy, we'll discuss that next time.
But before I close today I just want to say that every marital relationship should at least start with two people falling in love with each other. When your mind becomes emotionally consumed with a person you are also very physically attracted to, and you want to share all you have with them, that's the definition of "falling in love"; this is why people should get married. Unfortunately, people get married for other reasons such as, "Well I got her pregnant by mistake", or "Hes got a really good job with benifits", or "Her parents are loaded", or "This will make me a US citizen", or even "So the church won't judge me". I understand that there are examples of marriages that start out for the right reasons and end in divorce a few years later anyway. On the flip side, their are marrieages that start out due to legal or financial advantages only to last until "death do they part"; there are always exceptions to the rules. However, every marital relationship should start out with the true "falling in love" experience.
No comments:
Post a Comment