Well happy Easter/Resurrection weekend to all of you. I just want to remind you at this time that this blog is dedicated to a wide and general audience, not just religious people. I mean after all, every body has families whether Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Mormon, Atheist, Scientific, or what ever; we all need to work at making our family business as successful as possible in order to improve society as a whole. So how ever you celebrate or don't celebrate Easter, I hope that the week end was an enjoyable one.
In the last post I mentioned that marriage is Multilevel Intimacy or MLI. The big 3 parts of this intimacy is spiritual/emotional, physical, and financial. Marital relationships, whether legal or common law, struggle or eventual end when there is a disconnect in these areas with emotional being the most important, in my opinion; which was discussed in the last post. This time I'd like to deal with number 2 of the big 3 which is "physical intimacy". Why is this part of the big 3 so important? First of all there is what I call "nature's factor". The Bible says "And the two shall become one flesh"; that's sexual y'all. Why does nature require us to become one flesh? The Bible also says, " Be fruitful, multiply, and replenish the earth". You see in the wonderful world of procreation 2 becomes 1 and then 1 becomes at least 3. You see what just happened? Nature requires us to give birth for the purpose of guaranteeing that human life goes on. Marriage, by nature, is about establishing families and perpetuating life on the planet. This is accomplished through physical intimacy. No offense meant here towards homosexual couples; I love you guys, but without a man and a woman coming together physically, human life does not go on; period! Even if you are born gay, it takes a man and a woman to produce the birth. Even if a gay couple adopts and raises a child, at some point a man and woman had to provide the opportunity. This is nature's reason why the population will always be overwhelmingly and predominately heterosexual.
For this reason, we are sexual beings. We are naturally designed to want sex; mainly for the purpose of being fertile. Now; listen closely: In order to guarantee that we would indeed engage enough in sexual activities so as to preserve the perpetuation of the population, nature fixed sex so that it would feel sooooooooooooo good, that we would do it; even when our minds tell us, or society tells, or our parents tell us, or our pastor tells us that we shouldn't! Men and women want sex; it's by divine design. Furthermore, as humans, good sex is healthy both physically as well as mentally. Unlike animals, humans have the mental capacity to enjoy sex, not just have it. A good orgasm releases chemicals in the body and brain that helps in the control of stress, sickness, and disease. Have you noticed that after a good sexual encounter how people tend to sleep better and be more relaxed? In addition, I personally believe that regular sex and orgasms is one important key to good prostate health in men, and may even help menstrual cramps in women when that time of the month rolls around. Having sex also may help the heart in that the heart rate increases with having sex. Also, for those of you who would like to loose weight, having sex burns calories; particularly for those of you who actually get actively involved in the session and don't just lie on your back while he or she does all of the work.
God has designed sex/physical intimacy to be so desirable that it is a basic need of human beings, much like eating fruits and vegetables. Notice I did not say like food or water; without these we would die soon. However, just like many of us go a long time without eating our veggies and yet still live, so to are many of us deprived of healthy and wholesome sex, and yet still live. However, just like deciding not to eat fruits causes you to miss something important in terms of vitamins and nutrients that may affect your good health in the long run, so to does going without sex have potentially negative affects on our health over a long period of time. Catholic priests, I love you guys and your ministry, but God aint never told you all not to marry for the purpose of ministry. Now if you can dedicate yourselves to celibacy with no problems, so be it. But look at some of the sex scandals that have come up in past years and see if it doesn't trace back to this requirement of celibacy. With all of this in mind, if you are married, either legally or common law, and you are withholding sex or using it for selfish control purposes, you're not operating in love, and you are weakening a very important part of your intimacy base. And then we wonder why our man, and many times woman, is seeing someone else on the side. If you aint cooking at home, don't be surprised if he or she sneaks off to a restaurant; do you hear what I'm saying?
One other note on physical intimacy before moving on: both men and women, particularly women, are designed by nature to have what I call a "baiting system" in order to arouse attraction physically. In other words, when a man sees a woman looking "hot", what ever his version of hot is, that's nature's bait of attraction. A woman sees a man's rippling muscles and tight buns of steel, that's nature's bait: That NEVER changes, even when you get married. In fact, if you're married, looking and smelling good is even more important than ever because the familiarity and commonality that marriage tends to produce has a way of reducing excitement over time, and sitting around the house looking like your grandmother or Aunt Jemima doesn't help. Trust me baby; if you're not looking good and sexy, someone else is. Stay sexy!
Next post we'll look at the 3rd of the big 3, financial intimacy; stay tuned.
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